| This is old, sort of very old. I like it. |


ApplesI have planted an apple tree in honor of your hands.Apples
It will grow with you as your fingers shape into fists, as they wrap around the slender waists of women,
as they curl into knotted roots.
Under the moonlight the fruit shimmers like Ontario
where everybody is happy,
even in the wintertime.


The Reasons I PretendedBecause you were shaking your head yesThe Reasons I Pretended
like the rock formations only fingertips can remember.
Like my hips greeting your hips silently, having been introduced previously by mutual friends.
Like someone who had forgotten to love you, searching for your eyebrows on the face of a child.
Like the places only a body knows.


BrendaTen years later you will ask me to describe herBrenda
and i will tell you of the lines around her lips like a child's paper fan folded timidly
against a midaugust heat.
I will tell you that she scattered her voice through the house like dandelion seeds, praying that it would one day take root in the dusty blue carpet and raise her words up to the ears of my grandfather.
I will tell you of the seventy dollars buried in her yard beneath the garden gnome, how i saved up all my birthday money for six years and planted it there and watered it on sundays so that


Subay: You in three partsI Perhaps, I was never there to see your eyelashes curtsy on your skin when you first listened to the bat hymns andSubay: You in three parts
branch fallings. Perhaps, if I was there, Id be a bit scared just like how I first marveled on scarecrows that were built by my Lolos hands. I was never there when your Lolo strummed about barrio lamps and the first harvest on a melancholic September, if I was there, Id be folding my palms into fists and place them under my jaws, like what dreamers do, asleep or wide awake.
II The cassette tape recorder played a vital role in my life, I never &


how recently.i wanted to tell you how recently i've been smearing rouge across myhow recently.
feminine-clawed lips and wearing dresses, letting boys hold
my hand while playing all my
girlish wiles and
painting my fingernails red
going downtown, lounging outside of
oyster bars and drinking vodka, swallowing just to see the look
of surprise on my face
in the bathroom mirror
i wanted to tell you how recently i've been crawling into


Mission BoulevardLast night spills into the early hours In the fog valley, corralled through These avenues of asphalt, some smooth Like black ice during snow we never had And some as broken as usMission Boulevard
The hills of Riverside tear through The wandering fog from the coast That is polluted choking Chernobyl By smoke stack exhaust alters Erected to Gods that left long ago
The preachers are afraid to walk the Mission road During these Godless hours So they never find those who really need to be saved
I see lost children who can't speak Wandering the lust
--
-- J
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"There will always be something to ruin our lives, it all depends on what or which finds us first. We are always ripe and ready to be taken."
-Charles Bukowski
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